Confrontations
Tomorrow morning I have a massage at 8am. Then I get on a plane at 11:30 am and fly to New York City! Sounds like a fantastic morning!
This will be my first trip to NY. I am staying in Chelsea. I have my shopping schedule planned and mapped out. I have a list of 30 boutiques and I have them marked on a map. Exciting!
I am also doing my leadership seminar. I have learned so much about myself. I am annoyed. It is a very confronting program. The impact on me in my life since I applied for the program is that I am quieter. I know myself to be an insightful person. I now realized that I am self-righteous and arrogant about being insightful. Now I have cut this aspect of my communication out and I do not have very much to say.
I had a fantastic date with Brent. I slept over for the first time since October. He is such an amazing person to sleep with. He is very aware that I lying next to him. He reaches out and cuddles while we sleep. It is not over bearing or smothering or heavy or suffocating. It is absolutely beautiful and perfect. I love sleeping next to him. It was so special to sleep with him last night. He fell asleep on the couch. I curled up and watched him sleep while I stroked his face. Then I feel asleep as well.
We woke up - he wanted to move to the floor because "it is more comfortable." I said no way that we could go upstairs to his bedroom. And we did.
I was horny and he was sleeping. I really could have had sex with him. We have not had sex yet. Crazy....
This morning we started making out... it was great. We were very close to playing the game "Just the tip." I asked him if we should talk about having sex. He said not today because it would be rushed. Wow. I did not take it personally or create stories about it. I really understood that he wanted to create an experience for us to have sex for the first time.
More and more I like him. I am realizing what an amazing man he is. I feel really lucky to be able to share time with him.
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.
Service
I need to identify three occasions that I had extraordinary service.
I will brainstorm 15 times.
1. At Umebroshi shoes.
2. Anytime with Singapore Air.
3. The Silk Road in Whistler.
4. Sandpiper signs.
5. Rob at RBC.
6. The ladies at CinZino at City Square.
7. Chopsticks restuarant.
8. The girl at the juice bar in the Houstan Airport.
9. Stacey from Reaction Designs in Whistler.
10. Thai Away Home
11. The guy at Granville Island
12. Marco Polo
13. Urban Barn
14. Joni with the Valentine's Day Designs.
15. Esquires Coffee in Whistler.
16. Vij's
17. Gregg of the Walden.
18. Melissa of Inspired Designs
19. Brent on our dates.
20. Tireland.
This was a hard list to create. What I learned was is there are very few businesses which have extraordinary service.
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.
Discovering my embarrassement.
The defination of insane is doing the same action repeatedly and expecting a different result.
I was feeling overwhelmed until someone pointed out to me that I create being overwhelmed in order to avoid taking responsibility.... ya, I was nailed.
So if I am unable to hide in being overwhelmed where does this leave me? It leaves me in a position to take action and responsibility.
I have to write a one minute speech on an embarrasing moment. I need help with this one. Do I choose a surface embarrassing moment... like I I said something at the wrong time. Do I choose a body function.... like I farted in public and it stunk. Or, do I choose something that is deeply embarrasing to the point that I am so totally embarrassed by it that I have never told another human...
I have to get up front of a large room of people to talk about this embarrassing moment... so do I choose one that in the end I still look good because I don't want to look bad. And this would be being inauthentic.
I am going to brainstorm 20 embarrassing moments.
I was embarrassed when ......
1. After the Yoga Teacher and I had bad sex.
2. When the Doctor told me he was returning to his ex-girlfriend.
3. My first date with Brent and I had no idea what to wear.
4. When the stockbroker told me he liked my friend directly after our intense grind session.
5. Sweaty crotch marks in Yoga.
6. Unable to get up into hand stand in Yoga when I was being partnered with the hottest man ever.
7. Getting caught talking to myself in my car by pedestrians.
8. Vagina quifs during yoga or sex.
9. Biting my nails.
10. Talking about someone.
11. Being negative.
12. Losing my van keys when I was high on mushrooms and having to stay at these guy's house for 2 nights while I waited for new keys to be couriered to me from the city.
13. Having my period blood gush out in a waterfall during yoga.
14. Getting caught with food stuck in my teeth.
15. Giving bad head.
16. A bad make-out session.
17. Highschool.
18. Getting angry about something small or big.
19. Crying in public.
20. Crying at work.
21. Whining.
22. The state of bedroom when it gets messy.
23. When my bathroom is dirty.
24. The amount of money I spend on clothes.
25. Putting my sister down and being mean to her when I was younger.
26. Being selfish and arrogant.
27. Falling off of the train in Delhi.
28. Punching the Indian.
29. Putting the Indian down when I found out he could not read.
30. Having a temper tantrum in the Delhi trainstation.
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.
Day to Day
I have been busy and feeling overwhelmed. But, that is what I do.... I become busy so that I have reason not to be present for people in my life. I am too busy for a relationship..... maybe, is he is really special I will squeeze him in.
I am back seeing the older man!!! It is great! Somehow, distance makes my heart grow fonder with him. We text each other a lot.... but, we really do not see each other that much. I enjoy his influence on me.
I took a ski lesson last week - he is a skier, I am a snowboarder. I am eating fish for the first ever in my life. He is taking "stretching" classes - maybe, similar to my yoga classes. He is also dressing so very hot! Wow! He is wearing great jeans... his bum looks so HOT! He also has a great new leather jacket.
No action for me lately..... some deep inner thumping cravings for Brent and Manu.... but no actual action.
I do have a blind date in New York this coming Thursday with a man called Marc. This will be my first time to New York. What a great experience to create a blind date for myself. A mutual friend is very interested in that we meet.
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.
