Love Stuck

Focus on Me

There is one thing I am convinced of. I am convinced that if I stay in Vancouver then I will stay single.

The men in this city are not men. They are spoiled, juvenile guys who are self-absorbed and arrogant. They think the way to get a girl is to think about themselves, talk about themselves, pay 1/2, not to confirm plans for a date because something better may happen, to tell me how busy they are, how active their social life is, what properties that have bought, what car they own, how much they earn, how they got around paying full taxes, when they work out and pretty much anything that is all about them.

They have forgotten chivalry. They only time they open my car door for me is when they need to walk around the car to fart once I am inside. They may pick up the tab but it comes with a comment, "Next time you get it," or "You drove." They can't even pick up the fucking tab anymore without an excuse or letting me know not to get use to it.

Then you must think, just as I do, that this guy is just not into me. I get home from another lame date or I wait a few days and no word from them, so I begin deleting.

I have turned deleting into an art form. Not only do I delete his name from my address book, I delete my call list and my text list. If we emailed, then I delete all his incoming emails, all my outgoing, all drafts, and then I empty the trash. Even if he is not a friend on Facebook, don't just delete him, block him. I love Blocking. This is a great feature from Facebook and
I highly recommend you use it.

After experiencing these self-absorbed men, who forgot the art of pursuing, and have engaged in a lame interaction of I-
am-cool-and-you-should-want-me-so-here-I-am-and-there-is-another-girl-right-behind-you-so-don't-get-comfortable. By now, we have all read and watched, He's Just Not that Into You. We have now been retrained to understand that if a guy is being a dick, then he is a dick. So why do I tolerate this bad behaviour for a month or two?

When I first met Alex, it was sweet and enduring and fun. I felt sexy and happy. Then it turned into a weird, awkward, bleh, situation. I have been deleting him from my life once a week for a month now. Yet, he somehow has endured these deletions because he will email, text or drop my store. He redeems himself. He'll ask me snowboarding but not for dinner. He will ask me to a movie with 12 of his friends but not alone. He will come by my store and bring me lunch, but he will only give himself time for a 6 minute hello.

I am left with total confusion. Does he like?! Really?! It is hard to believe because in one regard his actions seem sincere and sweet. But, he can be so self-absorbed when he does these things.

For example, he came by my store on Wednesday for 10 minutes and he brought me fruit for lunch. Really sweet. But then he proceeded to talk about his taxes and contract with his company and his accountant. Of course, he managed to tell me he earned $72,000 last year and paid $2000 in taxes. So, is he trying to impress me with how much he earned? Because, I would be much more impressed by him if he planned and paid for a special date for he and I.

The amount of money he earns, his BMW, his Ford Truck, and Porsche mean nothing to me if he doesn't ask me about me. I
don't care that he bought a fourth house last week, wants to buy a sailboat next week and retire in a few months if he doesn't take the time to kiss me or call me. None of his accomplishments or the size of his bank account or the amount of his assets have any value to me if he is being a douche bag. These 'things' that he wants me to know about him are worthless in my mind if he doesn't man up when it comes to being romantic with me and showing me he cares for me.

So my dilemma is bachelors in their early 30's seem as if they are out to prove themselves t women by showing off their assets but not by being respectful and chivalrous. And I am bored.

I have dated a millionaire. The lifestyle was fantastic. I loved it but I didn't love him. I decided that having an authentic connection was more important to me than having the million. So here I have put myself out there for this authentic connection and I repeatedly meet men who are more concerned about their money then they are about authentically connecting.

Yes, I want to feel taken care of emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. Yes, I would love to be able to relax and not worry about paying bills and scraping along. But, once again, I will state, when I am with a man, regardless of how much money he has, I want him to focus on me.



live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.ll

Labels: Art of Pursuing, Dating in Vancouver, He's Just Not into You, Self Absorbed Men

posted by Lady Leisure @ 2:15 PM