I am still in recovery from last night. Now I am not stoned and not feeling all mystical and enlightened it is hard to face the reality of my actions.
I am embarassed. I do need to take responsibilty for what I have done. There are three men in my life whom I have treated unfairly - Buff, Karl and my Dad. They are three men whom I see on a regular basis and know well. Yet, I have so much anger towards them all for different reasons. Why do I think it is okay to get mad at men?
I don't want to be this person. I really want to be better than this. But, I am not becuase I am this anger and projection.
I am going to call Landmark for some coaching right now. I am scared.
No one answered. Maybe, there offices are not opened yet.
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.
Safe & Secure
I had a HUGE blowup with K my roomate.
Sebastian came. He listened. I am blown away by him. He just happen to call right after I freaked out. We drove to Queen E Park, parked at the top in the new parking lot, we smoked a joint, and then we walked around stoned and talked.
I really think this guy is amazing. It was so nice to have a man just listen.
I am so embarrassed about what happened with K. I need to complete. I think I figured it out. I want to feel safe & secure with a man. I need both to be happy and satisfied.
I really like Sebastian. I just feel so happy with him. We had some awesome converstations tonight. I have not connected like this with a man for a long time.
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.
