Love Stuck

Hmmmmmm. Blissed Out.

Ahhhhh. I got stood up this evening - I think - by the Johnny - the really solid, cute guy I like. I do like him - not like the other men where I am just jumping and having fun. And, maybe it is not all fair to say I got stood up. He did ask me to do something for tonight late Thursday night. At the time he had asked me I was hosting a BBQ party for my roomate and I had definately consummed some serious amounts of white wine. It is really a surprise that I even remember he asked me. But, I like him.

This was one of the recent dates I have booked that I would love to have seen come to fruition. But, there were no tears shed as I am still all blissed out from my date with the Yoga Man which was last night.

HHmmmmmmm......... WOW. Really, this Yoga Man is everything I want in a lover. He is my perfect ideal of a man in bed. We spent hours last night just kissing and feeling each other.

I laid some rules down with what was permitted to be done. The last time we got together we had the most amazing, passionate sex ever and I fell for him. Then I totally freaked out and got really weird. I was no longer being happy or fun.... I was being paranoid and cold. So our relationship ended.

Last night we played and talked for hours. He obeyed the rules. I was so smitten that I invited him to stay and was ready to beg. But, he excused himself at 1:30am as he knew that if he stayed we would most likely have sex. And he made the most amazing and gracious move by leaving. I woke with a start this morning and so much gratitude that he left. I am not ready to have sex with him.

I really do love being intimate with him. But, there is my logic brain which gets in the way. It is saying to me that a man who is a Yoga Teacher and the lead singer of a rock band is not long term material. This is my battle with him.

He is an amazing lover, but despite his 32 years he is still a boy in many regards. I want a man.

So, that is what Johnny represents to me - a man. He owns a house - which is yellow just like mine. He has a business - he builds things; he owns a truck and two motorbikes; and he has a garden with corn and other vegetables. He even said to me that he is a simple man that wants to have a family that he can provide for. Of course, I melted when he said this - and it was really funny because it was after the whole David Lee Roth conversation.

A part of me wants to call Johnny to see what happened - did we have a date? The other part of me is strongly advising that this is a bad move - don't call, don't call, don't call and whatever you do, don't call. I need to savour the waiting.

If we are meant to be together then it will happen. We live in the same neighbourhood, we know the same people. He has my number. If he really wanted to call me then he would.

The Older Man is back in town again after boating. He always seems to pop up. He is getting ingrained in my life.

The Token Mexican in my life is calling and we are talking a lot. I love practicing my Spanish and being with the Latino culture.

I got asked out by an amateaur golfer. He is playing in a tournament right now. He was going to call me to tell me his tee time so I could go watch. But, I have not heard from him. He is my dad's favourite. My dad gets really excited and calls to make sure I am returning the golfer's phone calls.

But, right now, when I drift to sleep it is Yoga Man whom I will be thinking of.



live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.

posted by Lady Leisure @ 1:48 PM