Love Stuck

Analyzing

I am waiting for Yoga Guy to call. I am working out of my office and I am alone so I have time to be anxious. Don't men understand that women need reassurance. Just a quick phone call. Just a little hello. Just a I was thinking of you. Even texting would work or an email.

The Mexican has called and texted me in the last 18 hours. Why not the man whom I made out with for hours on Sunday. Hey, that was a privilaged experience.

I took a little nap at the office today. I had a small nightmare. First, it was like I was stuck in this dream - I did not know I was dreaming - and I was doing very ordinary work things like working with Adobe Photoshop. I was talking with a couple of friends about upcoming courses and parties. A friend of mine whom I have been wanting to take a course and always resists had committed to going after talking with my roomate. My roomate has the ability to charm the pants off of anyone. I got mad and snapped, and said something like, "You never wanted to go when I invited you." Wow, such anger in my dream and what a victim I was being. Then we were planning on going to a party across on the bridge on the Northshore and I was to be the driver. I didn't want to drive, I wanted to drink.

Call. Call. Call. Call. Call. Call. Call.

I am doing that checking my phone to make sure the ringer is on. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

Nope. Nada.

According to Mars & Venus.

" A man instinctively doesn't reveal his excitement, assuming that if he appears needy it will weaken his position."

There is truth in this. When I was falling asleep I was thinking about my habits with men. As soon as a guy likes me, I start analyzing him. I am looking at all of these things about him. Is he good looking, sexy, a provider, a doer, funny, well liked, respected, how does it occur to me that my friends and family will view him, what is his long term potential, does he want to have kids, what kind of father will he be, how big is his peanus, does he have back hair, is he losing the hair on his head, what sports does he watch, how does he hold his fork, does he cook, does he eat meat, is he a vegan, does he enjoy watching horror movies, what does it mean about him if he enjoys watching horror movies, does he bite his nails, does he get manicures, does he sing, does he put the toilet lid down after using it, do I enjoy kissing him, does he have tattoos, does he have great tattoos, does he have lots of friends that are girls, am I going to get jealous over his friends that are girls, does he have skinny legs, is he good with a hammer, can he jump start my van, does he drive a nice a car, does he own a car, can he choose a good wine, does he like to travel, how many languages does he speak, can he touch his toes, can I read his handwriting, and the list of questions goes on and on.

As soon as I like a guy all of these questions start going through my head and suddenly there are fifty reasons why he is not the one.

I am totally panicked about meeting someone and settling down. Sure I whine about being single but this is really covering up the fact that I am scared shitless of falling in love, of only kissing one man for the rest of my life, of not being with the man that is perfect for me.

So yes I am anxiously waiting for Yoga Man to call but I am breathing a huge sigh of relief that he has not called becuase this gives me more time to plot and plan meeting the real Mr. Right.



live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.

posted by Lady Leisure @ 5:58 AM