Love Stuck

My Strong Suits

Landmark Forum has a concept that there are three distinguishing times in our lives where we were impacted by an event, and in order to compensate for our story about the event we create a way of being. These three ways of being created determine our behaviour and personality in our adult lives.

My First Event:
Grade 1
I was having difficulty learning subtraction. I just did not get it. I had to redo and redo the subtraction questions until I got it. I missed spending lunch outside on a nice day because I had to stay in and learn subtraction. Everyone else in my class understood subtraction. I felt like I was alone and left out of something. I felt different. I felt like something was wrong. I felt failure that I was not enough.

In order to compensate for this event, I act seperate and dumb. I think I am dumb. I nearly failed every grade in elementary school and high school. I always think I am missing something - that I do not quite get it.

My Second Event:
Grade 4
My desk was right next too my best friends. We were talking. I got moved. I got very upset and emotional. I was upset that I was the one who had to move. I took it personally. During this occurance, my parents were out of town for a couple of weeks. The class photo was being taken that day. I felt like an adult because I chose my outfit without my mother censoring my style. I was wearing jeans and a white collar shirt at an age when only dorky flower Laura Ashley dresses were appropiate for class photos. During the photo my face was red and wet with tears, I was not smiling. My teacher gave me a stern conversation for not smiling and wearing jeans. The other kids teased me. That day I felt like I did not belong.

In order to compensate for this event, I am very well liked. I am popular. I am charasmatic. I am trendy, but I am not too far fetched with my clothes, I always fit in the boundaries of what is acceptable. I am cute and charming.

My Third Event:
Summer between Grade 10 & 11

I was at summer camp for 2 weeks. A group of girls in the same program as me, but in a different cabin decided they did not like me. They said some mean things to me. I also had some weird things happen with my body. I had extreme diarhhea from a water skiing fall. Plus I got extreme food poisoning (To this day I think those girls put something in my food.). I puked all over the publis bathroom in front of people, plus for the first time ever my mom was there to comfort me when I was sick or clean up after me. I had to clean the puke up. I learned that I was on my own.

In order to compensate, I push people away, I keep them distant. I keep to myself. I spend a lot of time alone. I am secretive. And I quietly study and secretly do things to get ahead in life.

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.

posted by Lady Leisure @ 6:57 PM