Love Stuck

How much space

Finally B and I are talking again. He has returned from Greenland. Things got worse as he fell asleep when we had set up a time to meet. Then he texted me the next day to apologize. I kind of lost it after that. I was an emotional mess. I could not work. I left town for a few days and went camping at Long Beach with Link.

I have been really sad the past few weeks. There is a part of me which is still in love with B and I believe that he is the one for me. Then there is part of me that is so disappointed, hurt and angry by his behaviour that I am happy our relationship is over.

We have spoken on the phone three times. Two conversations were mostly me telling him how hurt and upset I am. He listened patiently. I spent a lot of time being in his business. Then we had one converstation where we both apologized. I was sincerely sorry for my behaviour.

He told me he wants to come to Vancouver for a week or so. I am on the fence. I really want to see him.... but he has been really immature. I ask myself who in my life would support me getting back together with B. I am not sure if anyone would after what he did.

I got upset on the phone on a Tuesday. He did not return any of my calls then he left for Greenland the next day. There was no contact between us until I got an email from him Friday morning breaking up with me. Then we did not talk on the phone for another 2 weeks when he was in town for one night...

I gave him a lot of reflections last night. They were not all nice and not necessarily true.

Cristine told me it was up to me if B and I got back together... becuase I would have to forgive him. I don't know if I can. I feel thtt if I forgive him then I am being a doormat. But maybe I need to work on forgiveness. I need to understand how forgiveness feels and the greater impact it can have on a relationship.

B runs away from confrontation where I deal with head on and full of energy. I do not back down. He is the chihahua and I am pit bull.

He told me that he would call me today. We will see. I would love it if he called me today but I have learned with him not to expect him to do what he says he will do.

He told me on Tuesday night that he loves that he just needs his space. I understand. But, he has not seen me in over a month... so how much space does he need?



live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.

posted by Lady Leisure @ 3:19 AM