Love Stuck

the Older Man is back

So I have sex. I go into dreamland of this is "the ONE", this is the man I have been waiting my whole life for, this is the love of my life. I am like this for a solid 36 hours after having sex.... then the fear steps in.

The fear of my obssessiveness which has the ability to turn anyone into a soulmate. The fear of my lust which makes me lose sight of who The Yoga Teacher really is. My fear of choosing incorrectly. My fear of rejection. My fear of being wrong about this man.

I went to a early Christmas party tonight at my friends' house. On the way there I was kidnapped and taken on a dinner date by the Older Man. He was in Hawaii for 2 weeks and before that he was in Europe for 2 weeks .... so in 6 weeks we have seen each other 3 times. Although he called me 3 times from Hawaii last weekend, I was a little taken aback.

Tonight we went to a mediocre restaruant just for drinks. But, we were both hungry so we ordered food. I was determined not to drink. But, my will power was weak and the wine weakened it more. I decided as were taking the first bites of food that this was the night to call it off with him. But, just as the wine was kicking in, he started talking about travelling together in January to South America, or somewhere hot.

It was bribary, and I was weak.... so I did not call it off. Then I was at the party with my friends and I thought maybe I am jumping in too quickly the Yoga Teacher.

Time

posted by Lady Leisure @ 5:50 PM