Love Stuck

On and Off

On and off. This is B and I right now.

I love him but I feel like it is this struggle and people who are in healthy relationships say that it is not suppose to be hard. But it is hard with him and I.

I feel like he has so much resistance to me. So now I hold back... no calling, no emailing, no texting, no facebooking. Nada.

I need to open myself up to other men. I want to cut B out now completely. I need to consider myself single.

I want to be a with a man who is crazy excited to see me. B is excited see me, but he is also excited to get a full day of mountain biking in, to eat nachos and have beers with his friends. I am left waiting.

He arrived an hour and a half late for a date we had on Thursday. I was livid. Then I cried all night because I was so hurt and I was so mad. He stayed until Sunday morning. But, I just feel done. No more.

A very cute guy came into my store. His name is Dwight. He came in once before and I hope he comes back soon. He mentioned that he would. He grew up in Missasauga, Ontario, he is 37, and he is the youngest of 4 boys.

There is also Alejandro. Who I do enjoy. I hesitate with him. He is Mexican and I do not want to get entangled in another long distance scenerio.

I feel tired and I want a man who will help me. B is not the guy. He wants to help and he does help but he is in town so briefly and he needs to do personal errands so he is not able to help me as much as I would like.

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. choose with no regret. laugh. do what you love.

posted by Lady Leisure @ 4:45 AM